Have you ever noticed that having agendas with toddlers and preschoolers doesn't work? You plan on a quick trip to the grocery store, but your preschooler doesn't want to go. Finally, you get there and the toddler whines that he wants to walk with his big brother instead of riding in the cart (which you know means trying to keep them both contained and not pulling a bunch of food off the shelves). If you have a set plan in mind and it doesn't happen, it can be extremely stressful.
Sometimes, agendas are necessary.
Moms need to go to the grocery store. You need to go to the doctor's appointments. And more often than not, you have to bring along the young'uns. The agenda must be completed despite the obstacles that get in your way. This is where good discipline and training is important to keep sanity.
Other times, agendas are not necessary.
I've been finding this to be particularly true during our nature walks. I want to take a walk. I want to point out the interesting plants and birds that we see. I want to make it to that pond at the other end of the park and back. But ultimately? I just want to be outside and enjoy nature with my children. What usually happens in these walks is the boys don't want to go where I want to go. They want to collect rocks and put as many as they can into their pockets. They want to lay in the grass and play in the dandelions. They want to play on the playground. They are having fun and absorbing their surroundings. What am I doing with these obstacles in my path? I'm getting frustrated and feeling stressed. I'm confusing my wants with my needs. I want to accomplish certain things, but I need to be with my children and let them do the exploring.
This happened just last weekend. It was beautiful last Sunday afternoon so after church we drove down to Discovery Park. We haven't been down there since I was pregnant with Little Buddy, so of course, there were things that Phil and I wanted to see. We wanted to get a view of the Sound. We wanted to enjoy a pond. The kids? They could care less. They dragged their feet, sang songs to themselves, and didn't appear to be enjoying themselves. Button discovered that he had pockets and that he could put things in them. This kept him entertained for at least ten minutes.
Meanwhile, we were trying our best to get him to keep moving. I was getting frustrated although I knew that this should just be "fun." Finally, I told Phil that we should just go home. I gave up. On the way back to the car, we had to go past a huge field that had millions of dandelions. We decided to take a rest in the field since the boys were captivated by the flowers. We took our shoes off, and laid down in the grass. The boys tackled their daddy and giggled while rolling all over the ground.
We had so much more fun when I just "gave up." We took life easy and let the boys discover things at their own special paces. Little Buddy was so excited to just be in a simple field.
Sometimes, agendas are necessary.
Moms need to go to the grocery store. You need to go to the doctor's appointments. And more often than not, you have to bring along the young'uns. The agenda must be completed despite the obstacles that get in your way. This is where good discipline and training is important to keep sanity.
Other times, agendas are not necessary.
I've been finding this to be particularly true during our nature walks. I want to take a walk. I want to point out the interesting plants and birds that we see. I want to make it to that pond at the other end of the park and back. But ultimately? I just want to be outside and enjoy nature with my children. What usually happens in these walks is the boys don't want to go where I want to go. They want to collect rocks and put as many as they can into their pockets. They want to lay in the grass and play in the dandelions. They want to play on the playground. They are having fun and absorbing their surroundings. What am I doing with these obstacles in my path? I'm getting frustrated and feeling stressed. I'm confusing my wants with my needs. I want to accomplish certain things, but I need to be with my children and let them do the exploring.
This happened just last weekend. It was beautiful last Sunday afternoon so after church we drove down to Discovery Park. We haven't been down there since I was pregnant with Little Buddy, so of course, there were things that Phil and I wanted to see. We wanted to get a view of the Sound. We wanted to enjoy a pond. The kids? They could care less. They dragged their feet, sang songs to themselves, and didn't appear to be enjoying themselves. Button discovered that he had pockets and that he could put things in them. This kept him entertained for at least ten minutes.
Meanwhile, we were trying our best to get him to keep moving. I was getting frustrated although I knew that this should just be "fun." Finally, I told Phil that we should just go home. I gave up. On the way back to the car, we had to go past a huge field that had millions of dandelions. We decided to take a rest in the field since the boys were captivated by the flowers. We took our shoes off, and laid down in the grass. The boys tackled their daddy and giggled while rolling all over the ground.
We had so much more fun when I just "gave up." We took life easy and let the boys discover things at their own special paces. Little Buddy was so excited to just be in a simple field.
Sometimes it's hard for me as a mom to slow down and enjoy my children. It's hard to "just play" in a field when we drove so far to get to this amazing park. Seriously, there are fields close to our house! And maybe, that is just what I need to learn. We don't have to go out of our way to make special memories with our children.
It reminds me of something that I've read by Charlotte Mason:
It would be well if we all persons in authority, parents and all who act for parents, could make up our minds that there is no sort of knowledge to be got in these early years so valuable to children as that which they get for themselves of the world they live in. Let them once get touch with Nature, and a habit is formed which will be a source of delight through life. We were all meant to be naturalists, each in his degree, and it is inexcusable to live in a world so full of the marvels of plant and animal life and to care for none of these things.(Vol 1, II, Out-Of-Door Life For The Children, p.61)
I hope that Buddy and Button will enjoy nature despite my agendas. I hope that I can remember to be flexible when my agendas are unnecessary and patient with my boys when they are.
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